I cannot control the petty personal story.
I cannot shape it, improve it, or transform it into a family friendly Disney show.
The petty personal story just remains what it is.
Most likely you know all this, have heard it many times.
And still you observe how thoughts are constantly arising, centered around the personal story.
You recognize that you want to give the finishing touches to this apparent script.
And finally you get the feeling that something about it must be wrong.
But this is just a another story, embedded into the first one.
Don’t hesitate to take this script into your hand though. Flip it open and study the different roles.
And then be surprised to notice that none these characters come even close to touch the core of what you are.
What’s left beyond my personal story?
Certainly not my imagination of what should be left.
Because that too is yet another entertaining story.
What is it then that is left when my personal story is deconstructed piece by piece and put aside?
This question scared the shit out of Andreas for years.
Andreas was not left by the way.
Instead Being is answering this question in each moment.
Be assured: There is a myriad of answers.
Sometimes there is the idea that our personal story should permanently reflect success, love, health and happiness.
That’s as if I expect all clouds in the sky to be white. And that the dark ones would disappear forever.
Sometimes there is the idea that our personal story should stop, come to an end. So that we are liberated from it.
That’s as if I seriously expect the sky to be blue and cloudless forever.
Like every individual cloud, our personal story is beautifully unique.
Like every individual cloud, our personal story means constant change.
No reason to attribute any deeper meaning to it.
But still I’m sometimes laying on my back, watching the sky for hours. Gazing at the play of the clouds with childlike joy.
What could be wrong about that?
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Quite commonly I am using words like “within” and “beyond”. Like for example “within the present moment” or “beyond the personal story”.
Both are mere symbols though. Like notes describe music, like the finger points at the moon, these words denote the indescribable.
In actuality there is neither within nor beyond.
In actuality there aren’t any boundaries.
In actuality every word, every sentence slightly misses the indescribable.
Perhaps we should just be silent.
And again: Slightly off.
Within the world of personal stories friendship always means unsteadiness.
Ups and downs, giving and receiving, closeness and distance, beautiful moments and bad ones.
Euphoria yesterday, tears tomorrow.
Beyond the personal story, however, all of this is completely different.
Nobody here who longs for one side and pushes away the other.
Everything has its own place, nothing bothers. Everything has a beautiful, unique intensity.
Nothing endures though.
And still each second is intimately familiar.
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As soon as we open the eyes we only see our little personal story in action. All objects, all persons around us, are actors in our personal play.
Seemingly following an unknown script, our life proceeds. Day after day, year after year.
Only if this “me”, only if this “we” disappears from these sentences, the personal story can be seen through.
When eyes open without an “I” thinking that they are mine; when seeing happens without a see-er – in this second time stands still. No more words, no more categories, no more drama.
No matter where “my” finger points – Oneness in a thousand different shapes.
Familiar, even without a name. Just in the right place.
Also when I point at this body here.
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I am not my personal little story, I am beyond it. This sentence occurred here several times.
But what exactly is my personal story? What am I not?
A human or spiritual being, a man or a woman – that are just stories.
Born, incarnated, bound by time and space – I am neither.
As soon as the personal story is seen through, we can be fully within the present moment, dissolving in it.
No one there who would feel threatened by the present moment.
No one there who would find wrongness in the present moment.
No one there who wants to wrestle with the present moment, wanting to master it.
Could, Would, Should are seen through.
Solid ground under the feet. A fresh breeze in the nose.
What Is becomes immediately apparent.
Photo credit: kallejipp / photocase.com